What?
Why would anyone pay for a ticket and deliberately miss the flight?
Well, in fact we are looking an answer to the
same question that has dumbfounded our editors for sometime now. We will let
you know the moment we get to know, in the meantime, if you want to miss your
flight please follow these great tips that never fail to fire!
It’s an international flight you say? Great,
all the better, we could not be happier to help you miss your important flight.
1. Don’t Book Any Heathrow Airport Taxi
Service
It is very important that you follow this tip
completely. If perchance you fail to follow this, you might somehow reach the
airport on time, which is not what we want, right?
OK, you should never book an Heathrow airport taxi service to . Who wants a taxi service, you can always scurry about at
the last moment with your luggage in tow and wail like a damsel in distress at
every taxi passing by, praying to dear god that someone take pity on your
plight!
But this will happen on the day of the flight.
There are preliminaries that you must ensure if you are determined to waste your
ticket money.
2. Planning & Packing is For Nincompoops
You are not a sissy, are you? We are sure you
are some tough guy who can survive on snake meat and tree bark for months at
end, so don’t bother about planning or packing your luggage before time.
All you need is a big arse machete to hunt
down wild animals and cut down bark on your tour. You can also wave that at the
face of any Heathrow airport taxi service if they refuse to take you. Oh, and
the security guards at the airport will salute and let you pass because of that
machete. But we digress - do not plan or pack in advance.
3. Don’t Book a Ticket
Even if you book a ticket and plan for your
journey, just forget about tickets. Just arrive at the airport and barge into
any gate. You don’t need to think if you want to reach China and the plane is
headed for Japan, just create a ruckus and say you want to be on the flight.
If security guards won't let you through,
declare that you have a bomb in your shoe! That usually does it. Not only will
you miss your flight for sure, you will also get to meet some cool MI6 agents!
That is it. If you follow each of these three
simple rules, we guarantee that you will miss your flight.
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